Happy Commercialized Holidays

The holiday season is once again upon us. The time to be with families, eat lots of food, exchange some wayyy too expensive gifts that no one ever actually needs, its the time of year to celebrate the birth of Christ...oh wait that isn't what Christmas-I mean the holiday season is about anymore. It seems to me that Christmas has become so commercialized. Everyone runs around the stores grabbing for everything for those they want to give gifts to, maybe getting a few things for themselves in the process. I am afraid that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost even to those who know what it is. Don't get me wrong I love decorating the Christmas tree, listening to the music, finding that gift for my favorite people. Its just that why we celebrate Christmas seems to have gotten lost somewhere in the midst of all the hustle and bustle of the season. We can't even call it Christmas anymore. Why not? Isn't that what we are supposed to be celebrating, Christ? If we take Christ out of Christmas it is like we are taking the love and joy out of it. I love the season but it breaks my heart to see what has happened to the joyous holiday that it is.

From the prairies to the mountains and a little bit of skyscrapers

Over the past few days I have been trying my hardest to get a new blog post up considering how long it has been. I have been struggling so hard with the words to say. Over the past 3 months I have been on a journey across central and western Canada and one trip down into Washington to see one of the most beautiful cities that I have ever been to. I started the journey in Winnipeg, MB with a group of 31 other students and 4 leaders. Out of that group I knew a total of 2 people and the rest were complete strangers to me. Its interesting to look back and see places where they have been and realizing that we maybe have crossed paths several times and never even realized that one day we would be part of the same family. It is such a crazy thought that each day we are constantly coming into contact with so many different people but when we look at their faces we don't know them and sadly don't pay much attention to the person who hides behind the face. The other day I was shopping in Winnipeg at the mall, waiting in line. As I stood there looking at all the people bustling by I thought of how each person walking by me has a family, friends, people who love them, each person has a past, a future, a story. We are all people in desperate search of relationships that change our lives. We rely on relationships and God is so amazing that He gives us the people that we need for all the things that we will go through in life. Sometimes the relationship is for life and sometimes its just for certain aspects of our lives. All the people in the mall were individuals but were also all the same. We are all people. I am not really sure how I got from where I started to this point but that's okay. So we began in Manitoba, close to Gimli. During the month we were there we had a canoe trip where they split our group up into two separate groups each with two guides. We paddled for four days and out of those four days we had one that wasn't windy, rainy, or cold. The rest of the time we spent paddling against the biggest waves I have ever seen on a lake. It was such a strong wind that you spend hours paddling as hard as you can and hardly going anywhere. I learnt that even when I think that I can't push myself any harder, somehow there is always still something left to give. I couldn't have paddled into those waves without God helping and protecting me.

I am going to apologize now for this post. It is going to get long but since it has been a really long time since my last one I think that's fine. That month we also did an Urban Plunge in Winnipeg. We went into the parts of the city that normal people would stay away from. Walking with the homeless, the prostitutes, the drug addicts, it gives a whole new perspective of who they are. They all have a deep and painful story of how they got there and that isn't the life that most would choose although some prefer living on the streets. From all the time that we have spent learning about homelessness and doing our two Urban Plunges my perspective about the way they live has changed so much. I don't even really have words to describe it right now but I look at them differently. So during that month we spent a lot of time at the camp near Gimli where we got to know each other and learn from instructors and such. It was an awesome month; it felt like summer just continued on into the fall. Right from day one (this is actually no word of a lie) I really liked all of our group and felt like even though I never felt God calling me to go to Outtatown this was where I was supposed to be this year. Looking back and seeing how after that month and into the Thanksgiving break we thought that we were so close, we were so naive because compared to now, we were mere acquaintances.

After the thanksgiving break we hoped into our two 15 passenger vans and a mini van and began the long drive from Winnipeg to Banff for the girls and then to Canmore for the boys. We had all 3 of the sites girls staying at one hotel and hanging out, listening to an awesome speaker, standing on a glacier, hiking, Zumba, and so much more. It was such an incredible week. Then we got back together with our boys (who I might add are the most amazing guys I have ever met and words cannot even began to describe the way they are appreciated). We spent the next night in a church, sleeping in their sanctuary. The pastor and his group were so kind. They made us breakfast and all they wanted in return was to hear our stories. It was such a blessing. Then we made our way to Blackfoot crossing and got to spend a very frigid night in a teepee (I seriously don't know the correct spelling). It was such a unique experience. After our adventures at Blackfoot crossing we hoped back into our vans and made our way to a beautiful lodge/camp in Sundre, AB which is like an hour from Calgary. That was possibly one of my most favorite places. The girls got to stay in the lodge in dorm type rooms. Each room had two to three people in it and each with their own bathroom. I was just with one other person and it was so dang awesome. That camp was beautiful and the people were so friendly. After a week and a half of that place then we got back into our vans and drove to Vancouver. As soon as we pulled up to our hotel on East Hastings I was terrified. I did not want to get out of the van. It was such an unfamiliar place, it was dark outside and there was so many people. Shockingly it wasn't as bad as everyone made it sound like it would be but I was still scared basically the whole time. We had a free weekend when we got there. The weekend was filled with footloose, public transit, the aquarium and many other things. Then we switched to a very sketchy hostel and headed into the Vancouver Urban Plunge. Before the week started we were told to priority pack into one bag for the week and the other bag would be left in the trailer. During one night of our free weekend the locks on the trailer were cut and 13 of us had our other bag stolen. I was one of them. I didn't lose anything too important but just the more expensive stuff. It was really upsetting to see how much value I had placed in those material items and how upset that I was when I lost them. Now I can look and see its okay because someone needs that more than I do.

So we did the Urban plunge which was quite similar to the Winnipeg one but yet quite different. I would tell about it but this is already super long and then it would be even longer. So after that we went to Twin Creeks lodge which is like a mansion and the people were so incredible. They just wanted to serve us all weekend and they loved us and made us food. It felt like Christmas. Sadly we had to leave. We went over to a camp in Hope BC. There were mountains all around us and a gorgeous, glassy lake. We spent our time learning from some instructors (one who fell off his box hahaha). Then we went to our all sites conference where we were all gathered for some sessions and hang out. We performed our epic flash mob that we had been working on for two months. It was so amazing. After this we headed over to Seattle...so beautiful. We had a semi free weekend. It was so incredible and the place that we stayed was an amazing hostel. So after Seattle we went back to the camp in Hope where we stayed for a week and a half or so. It was such a great time. We had a twin din and the our boys were so amazing and had a girls appreciation night. I was so overwhelmed we gratitude that I just started crying. We also got to go kayaking (I totally fell in the lake getting into the kayak). It was a great time with each other. Then we got back into our vans for the last time as a huge group and went back to Banff for some free time with each other and for some snowboarding in the mountains and debrief. The last night was a week ago today. It was so sad. It now is half over.

The last three months of my life were an insane adventure. I even went spelunking in a cave which I forgot to mention earlier. I grew to love the people (my second fam) so much that it hurts to be apart. I saw and lived in the mountains, fell in a lake at the end of November, served God, and served people. I never knew that I could ever love people that weren't my family as deeply as I love my group. Looking back to that first month of when we thought that we knew each other to now its crazy to realize that we barely did. It is super nice to be at home and see my other fam and friends but I am so looking forward to going to South Africa with OTSA 3. I feel homesick and I am sort of grateful. It means that we have strong relationships. As I am finishing this I am almost crying just thinking about it. I hope that I didn't bore those of you who made it all the way to the bottom of this. It got super long and took like an hour to write. This is just a small portion of the stories that I have and just a small portion of the memories and stories that are to come. Next stop South Africa baby!!!!

Birds, water, and everything nice

A bird is graceful and proud. It lives in the moment and for the moment. It doesn't worry about what is to come and it doesn't care about what happened. Its always thankful for whatever it has and never wants more. Water is pure. Its always moving even when it stands still. It never lies and it always follows the same path but its not predictable. At any given moment it could change. It shows everything for what it is but that ability can also block the outside from seeing what lies in its depths.

The Definition of Love

A while back I wrote in one of my journals my definition of love. Love is when you care about someone so much that you will go out of your way to make them happy and comfortable. You would gladly give up your own life for that person. To love someone is to be by that person even if they screw up cause hey we all do at some point. Loving a person is not how they look or dress, its loving and knowing their personality, their laugh, their smile, their ups and downs, their sense of humour no matter how lame it may be. If you truly love someone never hesitate to tell them because life is far too short and you never know when it might be your last chance. Love is a selfless act. Its the gift that you give when you have nothing left. When you are broken its all that you have left. Before saying "I love you" think about what you are committing to. Those words are powerful and cannot lie. This definition I believe can go towards a significant relationship or in a friendship/family. There is so much more that could be added to what love is because it is never ending and a person is so complex that you can never fully know them.

How can I even title this/

So its been a long time since I last posted. I really don't have an excuse since I have had access to the internet for a long time but I just haven't known what to say and haven't had the ambition to do it. Last week we stayed at this camp that is located about an hour and a half from Calgary, AB close to the small town of Sundre. We were there for about nine nights and were blessed to be sharing our rooms with only one other person and we all had our own bathrooms. When you go from sharing a bathroom with twenty girls and sleeping in a room with five others this is quite the difference. So we got to hang out, have a speaker and participate in the camps activities that they offer. We also had a day of silence where we were supposed to just spend the day listening to God and couldn't talk for the whole day. That is really challenging. After that we loaded up into our vans and we headed to Vancouver. We stayed at the Patricia Inn on east hastings street and got to have a free weekend. On the Saturday I went with a few people to see the movie Footloose which was absolutely amazing. Then in the evening we went to Gastown and found a cute, nice restaurant and had supper. On Sunday we were planning to go to Stanley park. We hopped on one of the buses and ended up in a totally not Stanley park area. After about 45 minutes of sitting on the Transit bus the bus went "not in service" and the driver kicked us off. Thankfully the last stop was close to the sky train terminal so we boarded and took about a twenty minute ride. Eventually we made it back to the mainland of Van, found the right bus, got on and about an hour and a half later we finally managed to get to Stanley park where we went to the aquarium. It was an awesome day. Especially since we did all that travelling on one bus ticket. So this morning we were starting our Vancouver Urban Plunge and we found out this morning that on Saturday night our trailer was broken into and they took off with hundreds of dollars worth of our stuff. Not everyone lost stuff just about thirteen of us. So we could use some prayer. Thankfully a few items were found being sold on the street and they were now returned to the rightful owners. God is awesome and afterall those are just material items. Well I need to go to bed now so I think this will be wrapping up this very abnormal post.

The Wonder of Life

Its interesting to look back on my short 18 years of life and to see all of the people that God placed in my life for specific parts of my life even if I don't really spend time with or talk to now. They all helped to shape me into the person that I am today and I am so grateful for all of my life experiences. God knew what I needed at every turn of my life and I feel that without certain things occurring throughout my life and with certain people I may not be the person I am today. I look forward to continue to get to know all of the people that He has placed in my life right now and see how they will shape my life.

Wind

There is something comforting about standing outside in a beautiful place when a strong wind is blowing. Perhaps its the knowledge that a strong wind is essentially what God is; so powerful that a house could be moved in an instant by an unseen force. Unseen in the way that it moves but not unseen in the things that it touches. Looking around at the faces of those around us we can see God moving. Those moments when someone spontaneously reaches out and helps a fellow in need but they had no idea that person was in need. The whole Earth is filled with God. Every person on the planet regardless of the religion they follow, ethnics, colour, or personality was created in the image of God; the unseen force that sweeps across this planet. A planet that personally knows God and is crying out for His Return. All the animals are touched by the Wind of God. God is the Wind; an unseen force that is impossible not to see touch everything around.

What happens when you throw 36 strangers into a community?

You experience a life of a beautiful community and get a new family. So this year I am doing something called Outtatown which is a discipleship program through the Canadian Mennonite university. Three weeks ago to the day I began this joyous adventure with a somewhat open mind and a stomach full of butterflies; unsure of what to expect. I looked at the faces of each of the people on my site and had no idea the personalities of anyone and could barely remember anyones name. Today I look at pictures of them and all that I feel is an intense love that I have only experienced with a few people. It hurts my heart just to think about parting with any of them. I am looking forward to basking in every single minute of this year and living life in the present moment with no specific plans for the future. I can't wait to experience many adventures with my lovely new family. Love you guys!

Why do you love nighttime so much?

The darkness opens our eyes to whats all around us. It allows us to see the tiny dot way high in the sky; the one that is so faint you can barely see it. We are one of those dots. He that is greater than anything holy sees that dot. He sees us; knows exactly where we are. No matter where we run to in the universe He can see right into our eyes. Knowing each one by name. He knows our hurts, our fears, our deepest love. Lover of my Soul. No matter where I run you will always catch me while I fall. Eternal Ruler. He knows my name. He chose my name; whispering it into my Mother's ear. Saying this one is precious just like you. This one is Mine too and no one can tell them differently.

So I say again why do you love the nighttime so much?

The nighttime opens our eyes to the glory of the All Powerful Ruler. The King who sees the speck and knows every person on that speck that you can barely see. The nighttime gives us a glimpse at His vast kingdom. The kingdom that no words in the human tongue can describe. Something happens that is indescribable every time I spend a moment staring at the beauty of the nighttime sky.

What would you give to have one night to spend dancing beneath the stars with a warm wind blowing?

I would spend the rest of my life in bondage to someone. Serving them with all my being to experience the glory and power of the King by looking into the vast universe and seeing what He, the Eternal Ruler is capable of. I would be beaten and tortured just to experience that wonder of looking into universe for one night. It is worth my freedom for without, there is no such thing as freedom. We would all be bound even those who truly were free would never be free without experiencing the freedom and power that comes from dancing beneath a star filled sky. Freedom here on Earth is worthless without the means to truly be free to ones self. Freedom can only come from one being; He is the Lover of my Soul and this is what my soul sings to Him.

Its interesting...

Its interesting that we all spend our time complaining about what we don't have instead of looking around and being thankful for what we do have. We think that our lives are terrible and we don't always think that the life of someone else might be worse than ours. Maybe rather than feel sorry for ourselves and spending our lives being greedy we should say "Thank you God, you gave me more than I ever deserved," then turn towards someone less fortunate than ourselves and bless them with the blessing bestowed on us.

Danger

Life is filled with mystery. Its unpredictable and filled with danger. Even those who try to hide from the danger cannot escape it. We are a ball floating in a black void. We could be struck by a comet that we never saw coming and just like that this world would cease to exist. The real danger is unseen. We are surrounded by battles that occur on our behalf. Angles and demons surround us in a realm that is different from ours. When faced with this a gun would serve as no protection whatsoever. The only protection that we actually have left is the light. When we step into the light they see our true identity; servants of the King. What they see in those who don't serve the King I have no idea. When the evil sees that we are servants of the King and maker of all they are terrified. Our Father is the only protection that we have from the danger that stalks every shadow. Nothing can compare to that. Its amazing how even when we think He is not there He makes things turn out better than they should be. If we stopped and thought about the hazards that lay around us I think that we would all dig a deep hole and hide there until the end of the world. Every breath we breathe requires faith. In fact there is a small portion of our brain that God created for faith. When we breath, we should try to remember that.

Seriously...tell me what you think of this!

Hi, hello. I am now about three pages into the new and improved story in which I have entitled "The Red Velvet Cape", this is my original work which is a story about a young man living on a shaky path. He grew up with a Christian family and always attended church and had a strong faith. During his pre-teen years the boy experienced a great tragedy that left him filled with grief and anger causing him to follow a path of destruction eventually leading to darkness coming over his heart. Somehow (I won't tell you how) the guy is placed in a coma (just his physical body) and he is transported to a realm similar to Earth but a place where no veil blocks our view from good and evil. He is placed into a spiritual battle for his soul and if he fails the tasks at hand that may cause terrible things to happen and his destiny won't be fulfilled. God gave the man a guardian to look out for him and help him learn and to complete the tasks he must fulfill. Does that sound like a good book? Please I sincerely hope no one will steal that idea but I need some other opinions. Here is a few paragraphs that I hope you will enjoy and critically comment on your thoughts. I want this to work out well and to do that I need your help to so let me know what you think. Here it is...

The darkness was coming; lurking under the cover of every shadow. It hid beneath the rocks or behind the bushes in a friendly backyard. Waiting for the perfect moment to pounce and latch onto his soul. Squeeze his heart so that he succumbed to its wrath. The same darkness that he feared he longed to embrace and allow into his life. He brought the darkness to his doorstep. He invited it to come and terrorize his family and those he loved. All that he needed to do was open the door and welcome it completely into his life. Doing so could have reverberations that would spread far beyond him; touching the lives of every person around him, even those he had never talked to. But he wanted the darkness. To him it didn’t matter what the consequences were all that mattered was the freedom he thought that he saw in those cold, clammy hands; the hands that were wringing the life right out of his body. The freedom he thought they offered would give him powers far beyond his wildest dream. That thought was a grave mistake.

The familiar roar of the Ducati’s powerful engine and the vibration beneath his hands as Eric Masterson pealed down the deserted street was a comfort to him. He knew every curve of the deserted path and not even the time of night could affect his confidence on his journey home from a disappointing endeavour. He was a successful businessman, some would say that Eric had worked hard to make it to where he was but he knew better than that and so did his beloved girlfriend although she would never admit to him just how much she knew. He cheated his way to the top. Regardless of how he got himself there Eric knew that he was the right man for the job. He had taken the company ten times farther than his predecessor and he was still young enough to continue taking it farther. Just because Eric stayed out late partying every night didn’t mean that he would be bad for the job. The Chairmen just couldn’t understand that. They thought Eric was far too young and inexperienced. That’s what forced him to do what he had to if it meant that he could be at the top.

Eric was heading home from a long “heart-to-heart” he had at his girlfriend’s house with his best friend. Essentially it was an intervention. The two of them had begun hanging out all the time while he was busy working or doing other things. He discovered that they were doing it behind his back and when asked they replied “Oh, we were just bonding,” as if he could believe that innocent statement. Their relationship had all the characteristics of something far different than “bonding” time but of course he was supposed to trust them and let whatever was going on happen with no questions asked. How could he do that? They were off behind his back. After this went on for a month Eric finally had enough. He broke up with her. That was all that he could do. She called all week but he just ignored those calls. There was no way he could even look at her, or him. Some great friends he knew.

Earlier that day he ran into his friend; or rather ex-friend. Eric tried his hardest to duck behind the aisle in the store but it was too late and Anthony had already spotted him. Eric avoided eye contact as best as he could but Anthony crossed the distance to talk with him.

Ignore any spelling or grammar issues as I haven't read it over yet and just tell me how it sounds. Seriously if I ever see that someone uses this idea or the writing I will fine you for it. This is not free for all to take just to read and comment. Thank you for reading and for your comments that are deeply appreciated.

Whats in the future?

Hi, hello. I think naturally as humans we are often curious about our futures and what lays ahead of us. We wonder if we will figure out some way to come up with a crazy invention that actually works. We wonder did I ever finish that book I was working on. The Disney movie "Meet the Robinsons" does a great job of illustrating what can happen if we go through time travel. The thing about our futures is that its meant to be a mystery. We aren't supposed to know whats ahead because then trying to choose the path that we travel on could be a real challenge and we might take the wrong path which would change how our future should have been. Going to the past could also be a problem as things might not pane out the way that they originally did altering the rest of time. The best thing to do is live in the present. Take life day to day and not put to much stress on what is to come. Make smart decisions and let the future pane out how its meant to. God is in control and listen to him, he will direct your path.

The Red Velvet Cape

Hi, hello. I have been working on a novel for about the past year but have really been struggling with the format and basically how to start it. I began writing in first person and got a good chunk written but wasn't pleased with it. Here is the first two paragraphs of one that I am really pleased with and will keep writing like this. Tell me what you think.

The darkness was coming; lurking under the cover of every shadow. It hid underneath the rocks or behind the bushes in a friendly backyard. Waiting for the perfect moment to pounce and latch onto his soul. Squeeze his heart so that he succumbed to its wrath. The same darkness that he feared he longed to embrace and allow into his life. He brought the darkness to his doorstep. All that he needed to do was open the door and welcome it. Doing so could have reverberations that would spread far beyond him. But he wanted the darkness. He saw freedom in those cold, clammy hands. A freedom he thought would give him power. That was a grave mistake.

The familiar roar of the Ducati’s powerful engine and the vibration beneath his hands as Eric Masterson pealed down the deserted street was a comfort to him. He knew every curve of the deserted path and not even the time of night could affect his confidence on his journey home from a disappointing endeavour. Eric Masterson was in his twenties but in one evening had experienced a betrayal that burned him far beyond his years. Maybe it was the fire that burned in his heart or maybe it was his over confidence that caused what was to come next. No matter why it happened it was the miracle that his beloved family had prayed for. They possibly didn’t expect the miracle to come in the form it did but God had his hand in it and he made sure that everything would work out for the better. He gave the young man a second chance that most people would never expect to get.

Does that sound like it will be a good book to you? Would you read it? Oh, it is a fantasy novel about spiritual warfare and the battle for a young man's soul. Let me know what you think.

If this is Earth think about Heaven

Hi, hello. It seems that for us as simply human beings Heaven is a concept that our tiny brains cannot grasp. Picturing forever is difficult because we don't know what forever is. We can't seem to understand a moment when time is none existent and age does not occur. A question I often ask myself is how can God have been there forever? Wouldn't something have to have created God? To us we see the trees and the mountains, the animals and the forests, then we look at our fellows and also the housing and factories and everything that we have been able to build. When we look at this world around us it is interesting to see that everything was created by something so we can't grasp that God has been there forever. Then trying to imagine the kingdom in which this wonderful, amazing creator lives in we cannot even come to terms with it. Even though certain parts of the Bible describe Heaven and we try and picture it like the description says. I think that our imaginations don't give Heaven justice. Heaven is more than we can imagine and there is nothing on Earth that can come close to a comparison. Its more beautiful that a room filled with diamonds. The above image is what I think is the most beautiful place on Earth and I strongly believe that this is a veil covering our eyes which is preventing us from seeing the true beauty of Heaven which lies in a realm far beyond here. One that we must be worthy and wait to enter.

Immaturity

Hi, hello. I started reading this book by Mel Blackaby called "Going the Second Mile" it talks about not going the second mile by burning yourself out trying to be a "good" person. There are enough "good" people in this world who aren't even Christians but it talks about going the second mile by experiencing the Love of Jesus Christ to such an extent that you spread His love just because you have His love in you and you want to share it with other people. The author also talks about a moment when God asked him why he only ever came to him when he needed help. I felt that this was speaking directly at me. I tend to often cry out to Jesus when I need His help with something or am having a rough time. Even while reading this book I said to God "Help me to be able to experience your Love so that I can travel the second mile with You". I realized that even while I try to get a deeper relationship with God I still am crying out for help. I had a thought the other day that I believe came from God, I thought that I am immature just like a teenager. I come to the Father every time I need something but otherwise, unfortunately, have a tendency to ignore my Parent. I am immature. Sometimes immaturity his a benefit and it enables us to have the wonder and awe of a child. The imagination of a child and the ideas like a child. Children trust their parents and learn and talk with them. They need them to grow but somewhere in there a teenager takes place and they tend to (not all) just use their parents when they need them. Then there are adults who think that they are finished learning and are too good for help. We need to have the faith of a child. Never stop wanting to grow or learn. Being a teenager in our faith isn't really very good so what I need to do is grow by growing backwards if that makes sense at all. I need to have the child like faith that will enable me to trust my Father and at the same time I need to grow into an adult and come away from the teen years. I guess we need to be able to talk to God normally and look at Him just like a child cause that is what we all are and we will never stop growing and learning. I am sorry if I ended up rambling on and on there but I am sleepy and what I was trying to say made more sense in my head so I sincerely hope that you understood the entire point of this post.

Memories are all That Remain

Hi, hello. In four days I will be graduated and will have closed a small chapter in my life. What is in store after this chapter I have no idea but I pray that God will take me on the adventure of a life time. Looking back it went by so fast. One day I suddenly am leaving high school and soon going to be out of this town. I realize that there are people I may not see again for a year or two. Things I looked forward to every week that I will no longer have. Its enough to make me cry. All that I really have left to commemorate my four years of high school are those memories that I hope to keep tightly locked away within my mind. There to access any time I feel sad. There are some things that I experienced that were so incredible I would be more than willing to go through the horrible moments over and over again if it would mean that I could relive that one memory again. This evening I had a bunch of grade 12 friends over for one last shindig and we kept talking about the teachers and the people who we went to school with. Things that we did with them and stuff that we were going to miss. The only thing that will remain from my time in high school is the memory of moments spent with each other. Nothing more, and nothing less. The school part will one day eventually fade but I pray that the memories of the past will stay forever.

Fame and Fortune

Hi, hello. I think that fortune but especially fame is something that as human beings we all have a desire to have. We watch those celebs on TV or listen to them play there music loudly for everyone to hear and then we think why can't that be me? For some crazy reason we have some desire to be known. Some part of us wishes that our fans would run up to us on the streets and ask us for an autograph or want their picture taken with us. Personally I have been planning on finishing writing a book that I have been working on and getting it published. The book has a powerful spiritual message and I believe that God gave me the idea and he can impact lives through it. Lately though I have been struggling with how to write it and I think maybe its because I am thinking more about how people will react if I can get it published and the fact I could end up famous from it rather than thinking about doing it because God wants me too. I keep telling myself and God that I don't care about fame, they don't even have to remember my name but there is some deep part of me that longs to be famous and I don't understand it. Why can't I just accept being an average person that loves and serves the creator of the universe. The other day I was travelling in the car and I had a realization. God has a plan that is bigger than anything we could possibly imagine. Its far greater than being well known and will last for an eternity. As hard as it may be we must remember that when we have that desire to be famous or/and wealthy we need to remember that God's plan is far greater that any of it and if we have Christ's love in us we could be street bums and have more Joy than others. God has a bigger plan than fame and fortune.

The Same Today as it was Then

Hi, hello. We all have learned about the gladiators in the ancient Roman times who fought in the arenas spread throughout Rome and the surrounding areas. The most famous of these arenas of course was the Colosseum where many slaves and prisoners died but as well many of them lived. The Gladiators were men who no one would "miss" if they died. They were placed in the arena to put on a spectacle for the entertainment of those fortunate enough to not be in the place of the Gladiators. We look back on those days with disgust; thinking how can anyone stand to watch fellow human beings dying yet we turn on the TV and watch shows about serial killers and see graphic content when the camera pans onto their victims. We watch movies about war and violence and see bodies blown to pieces or shot. We see the blood and guts coming out of their corpses and we are entertained. The fact is we are no different. What we watch on TV and find enjoyment in is the same as how they were entertained in the ancient Roman times. The only difference is that what we watch the people aren't actually being killed.

The Sacrifice of One to Give Joy to Another

Hi, hello. Have you ever noticed how parents are willing to give up their own happiness and dreams to make the dreams of their children come true? They sacrifice everything that they are able to give in order to grant their children happiness and a good life even if it means at the cost of something dear to them. I think that is truly selflessness and one of the greatest sacrifices that can be made. This is a prime example of the sacrifice that God made for us as his children.

The Change in the Belief System

Hi, hello. I was just reading a trend on twitter devoted to apparently bashing Christians because several thought that the world was going to end today. I think that it is really horrible for people to have thought that when it clearly states in the bible that we are not supposed to try and predict the day of Christs return. There are lots of prophecies in the Bible that have not yet been fulfilled about the end. Before His return we will see a one world leader, the same currency for the whole world. The price of wheat (or I guess food) for a quart (I think) will be a days wages and there will be successive natural disasters and turmoil. So far we have just seen the beginning of all of these things. No one knows for sure the day of His return not even the Angels in Heaven with him only the King knows the day so therefore we should just always prepare ourselves and be Servants of the King doing whatever he would like us to do no matter what it will cost us. It bothers me that because of this little fiasco with some Christians so many people won't believe in God because now they think that He for sure doesn't exist and also the Christians who thought that maybe won't even believe. I feel as though this is the exact reason why God said specifically that we shouldn't try and predict when Jesus is going to return. NO one, especially none who are on Earth can know the time and day.

Have you ever noticed...

Hi, hello...that people in this world always seem to be in a hurry. Today I went for a walk with my sister and her kids and it was a really slow walk that took over two hours just meandering down a dead end road in the country. Honestly that simple walk was the most fun I think I have had all week. That is until also today I went on a scavenger hunt and had a bonfire. But aside from all that stopping in the middle of the day to do something slowly that has absolutely no point but is just for the pleasure in doing it. Somehow that fills a person up. People in this world don't spend enough time stopping long enough to appreciate the things going on around them. I have really observed this in malls but especially the really big ones like the Mall of America. When I am in there I try so hard to take everything in that its like I can't be in a rush and meanwhile people keep running into me. My school is a lot like that too. Its filled with students who crowd into the hallways and bustle around trying to get to their next class but they don't look around them. I really enjoy looking into the eyes of the people that I pass. They look like an empty shell until you see those eyes. Everyone is always in such a hurry that sometimes everyone just needs to take a moment to stop and breath. Enjoy life and don't try to rush through it.

Dancing

Hi, hello. I was just reading this article and a guy was listing four reasons why a Christian girl shouldn't attend a prom. His first reason which caused me to scuff, shake my head, and scroll to the bottom of the page said that dancing is considered a sexual activity. He never specified the type or style just sort of generalized it. This ticks me right off. Why do so many Christian people think that dancing is so wrong? There are some types of dancing that are incredibly provocative and would be considered to be very sexual but then there are just as many if not more dances that are completely clean and don't imply anything. What does everyone think that Jesus did when he walked out of the tomb? He danced of course. Dancing is a way to express ones joy and it doesn't have to be implying something completely the opposite. Don't generalize dancing and say that all of it is a sin. I am not talking about grinding people, I am talking about jumping and swaying, swinging your arms in the air and not caring what anyone might think. Doing the old dance moves like the sprinkler and the lawn mower. Dancing isn't a sin. Its how you use the art that makes it a sin.

A Message to Young Canadians Eligible to Vote

Hi, hello. Have you ever noticed that during an election time the people running never aim their campaigning at young Canadians? Do you ever wonder why that is? This is because over half of the young people in Canada at the voting age rarely vote. I find this amazing that people don't actually want to vote. I personally I am terribly excited that for the election day I will be 18 and that makes me old enough to vote. There are young people all across the world who would kill for an opportunity like this so please people. Lets prove them wrong and actually get out there to pick someone we think is a good candidate. If you want to make a difference in our country this is a prime opportunity and don't throw it away. If you can't decide who you would pick ask someone which is the better candidate for your riding. Come on, this is the next generation, lets go and do something millions of kids all over the world can't. Lets show them that we have a voice and they made a faulty assumption. Get out and vote on May 2nd.

Joyously we Look Out Into This Vast World

Hi, hello. Have you ever stopped what you were doing in your daily life and looked around you? Thinking about all the incredible sites there is and not just the man made structures but the better ones than that; the ones someone designed to reflect on what He is like. Have you ever stopped dead in your tracks and thought "Wow, why am I here? How did I get here? Wha-wha-why are we still alive?"? If you think about, hypothetically speaking we shouldn't all be here today. We are standing on an orb that is just floating around in a dark void. Everything was perfectly designed so that we could perfectly survive. We can breath. The temperature is not so hot that everything would melt and no where is it so cold that not a single thing can survive. This is an incredible world that essentially was designed for us to inhabit and it was a gift that we be the ones to rule over the Earth. We need to some times stop and look around to appreciate the beauty of God. We need to stop and bask in the radiant rays of the sun and feel the joy that comes from the beauty all around us. Fathom that if He cares enough for a sparrow think of how much He cares for us.

Celebrating one year!

Hi, hello. So I just realized something today. I have now officially been on here for a whole year. I was thinking originally that it would just give up on this whole thing and stop blogging but as it turns out I now have blogged a whole year and went from 1 follower to 5. Thats 5x as many so maybe by the end of the year I will have 25 followers.

Never Grow Up

Hi, hello.So I was just listening to Taylor Swift's song "Never Grow Up" and although I have heard it several times before I think I just took the lyrics to heart and in fact began to cry. Its amazing how as a child all we want to do is grow up and we are embarrassed by things our parents may do. Lately I have been thinking about how it will be nice when no one will ask me where I am going or why I am going or get all excited if I am a couple minutes late but to be honest, thinking about makes me sad and I think that I am going to really miss not having anyone there to care about me. Most likely when I have room mates I will tell them my plans for what I am doing just out of habit. I wish I could just stay like a child forever. Never grow up. Never experience the evil nature of human beings and stay innocent and naive forever. I really don't want to grow up. The simplicity and peace that is within you as a child reaches a point where it comes back. I realize that I don't want to leave and wish I could go back to those days when everyone was still at home and I was small again. Savor those moments of your childhood. Don't get impatient that it takes so long because one day you look back and realize that you blinked and missed everything. Enjoy the joy in being a child because you never know when one day you aren't going to be a child anymore.

Hey, what about Africa?

Hi, hello. Have you ever noticed that musicians and people who go on tour never seem to voyage over to Africa on tour. They generally go to Europe or Asia but especially tend to tour North America. What about Africa? They listen to music there too. I am sure people living there would feel incredibly privileged to have the pleasure of getting to view their favorite artists live just like everyone else. Don't forget Africa.

How can you believe in nothing?

Hi, hello. This is a topic that has boggled my mind for a long time. How can someone not believe in anything at all? I mean looking at the world around you you have to think that somehow it came to be. Even the scientific method is better than believing that we are just here. No real idea why we are here but we are here and this is just what life is. I just can't comprehend how looking at the complexity of the Earth and seeing how everything is exactly perfect for us to sustain life and yet people don't see it. Even the human body. It is incredible how we first of all form and then grow and develop and eventually die. The body does essentially everything for us. I just can't understand how you can look at the world and not believe that it was created by nothing and just somehow got here but they are too lazy to decide how.

Silence

Hi, hello. What happens when you are at a lose for words? You bask in the beloved silence shared between you and God or you just listen. Stop and listen to the glorious sounds around you and to the thoughts swirling in your head. You never know if maybe one of those thoughts isn't actually yours but rather someone else's. Like a certain Him who is the maker of all things.

Hi, hello. So I have blogged anything recently but it would appear that I have a brain stall. If you have any suggestions please post a comment and let me know what I should blog about.

Hi, hello. I don't understand how come in life girls are allowed to do male things but somehow as soon as a boy wants to do something maybe a little feminine or with the girls he suddenly get a big label across their forehead that says they are gay. Why can't males play with the girls or do something in fashion or styling without being called gay? I really think that its so stupid. Honestly if one day I have a son and he would rather do ballet than basketball well by all means sure because thats what he wants. Or if he would rather figure skate then play hockey sure he certainly can because its so stupid that boys can't do girl things but girls can do boy things.

Oprah

Hi, hello. So here is something that I really, truly don't understand. Oprah places people on her show mostly because they have a past and they have something that will bring her lots of money and viewers. She asks them questions and they pour their hearts out to her and everyone cries. Then the camera turns off and she doesn't really care about you anymore and most likely will never even remember your name after that. It just boggles my mind that these people actually spill their hearts out to someone who really doesn't care what they say and is using you to entertain the world and to make her money. Maybe though she pays people to come on in which case I definitely can understand why they go on her show.

Amazing Youth Retreat!

Hi, hello. So I just got back this evening from the most amazing youth retreat. I have been on several and this one just about tops them all. We were learning about MORPHing your life. I am sure that from the content of the title you can put the pieces together about what that actually looks like. Well anyway I need a few days to digest the lessons before I will be able to share them with you. I had my first adventure cross country skiing. I went with six other people of which only one had ever done it before and it had been only about once. We had no instructor and figured everything out for ourselves. Thank God for relationships and for laughter. This weekend or rather two days of it I laughed so hard that it hurt and I thought I might actually die from it. Skiing was one of the best moments as was Broomball and so many other things. I love how God gave us the gift of laughter and I tell you as much as it hurt by the end of each fit, it was refreshing and it had been a long time since I laughed like that without trying. The whole weekend was exactly what I needed and God had all of it planned out.

Death

Hi, hello. As much as that is a depressing title the content isn't really all that upsetting. I find it quite interesting that in order for something to live another thing will of had to die. In order for us to be accepted by God, Jesus had to die for that to occur. That is the greatest gift that we as humans can ever receive. Even if you just eat vegetables to survive the plant needs to die. In order for us to truly live we must die to ourselves so that we can live in Christ. It may be hard but thats part of being a follower of Christ.

Food

Hi, hello. So I have always just figured that I am one of those types of people that even if it doesn't really appeal to me I will eat it anyway if I go over to someones house. Some people just don't quite understand that I am perfectly fine with eating regular simple food and they don't always need to make this intensly fancy food.

When you smile I'll smile

Hi, hello. As much as I really am not that much of a fan of Justin Bieber simply because he sings about love but so far he is so young that I don't think he knows what love is, I think that there is some truth to that phrase in the title. I think that there is just something about when you are with someone you truly care about even if they are just as friends when they smile, it just makes you happy and want to smile even if you are frustrated with them or whatever. Seeing them happy makes you happy. There is some truth in the song.

Oreo

Hi, hello. There is just something about that delicious cookie; two chocolate crusty cookies squishing in between them delectable white cream icing. Get a tall glass of cold milk and your cookie meets its true love. You dunk and dunk and no matter what age you end up with oreo crumbs on your lips and all over your shirt. Then you need to finish this delicious snack off with a nice milk mustache and lick all the remaining crumbs out of the glass. No matter what age you are this is the cookie that raises every generation.

Hi, hello. You know being an outsider and looking into a window and seeing the way that people act I would wonder too "why would I want that?" You see plenty of Christians living "Godly" lives and sitting there condemning the rest of the world and society. Then they try and force you to believe something that maybe you don't want to accept at that time. They tell you that your belief is wrong and this one is right all though they have never actually looked into your own personal beliefs but expect you to look into theirs and follow what they believe. I know personally, I had this friend who wasn't a Christian and tried to help her out. I think she got the wrong impression and things ended badly. I don't understand how come some people though see themselves as "almighty" human beings and walk around like the own the planet because of faith and force others to love the same God that they do. Just because we are Christians doesn't mean that we live sinless lives and don't make mistakes. Regardless, we are only human and since Adam and Eve ate the fruit in the garden, our nature has been that of sin. As Christians I think that we need to be respectful of other peoples beliefs and if we plan on teaching them about ours we need to be prepared that they have every right to teach us about theirs. That may be scary but I believe that through Christ we are strong enough. Sorry if this offends anyone its just something that I have observed.

Equality

Hi, hello. Its amazing how ever since birth everyone always says that God gave you a special spiritual gift for you to use to do work for him. Eventually you find it and then you have to decide what to use that for. Then you look at someone who has many gifts and you think if we are all equal then how come he is like that and I'm not? Well as I learnt last Sunday it doesn't really matter how many gifts you are given or what they are for. No one is still above the rest. The janitor is equal to the CEO. God gives the required amount of gifts for one person to complete the task that they were assigned by him. It isn't how many that matters because we all are picked by God to do what he has designed us for. All that matters is that we don't flaunt these giftings around and act like we are better than anyone else. Its back to the whole selfishness ideal. We just need to accept our task and the way that we were fearfully and wonderfully made to be servants and complete whatever task he wants us to willingly and not just because we feel that it is our "civil duty".

Selfishness

Hi, hello. I never really have noticed how selfish I actually am until I watched that video by Devon Gundry. What cried out to me the most was that homeless man watching all of those people walk aimlessly past him and then the guy on the phone that placed money in his cup just because. Watching the way he suffered was difficult but it wasn't just that. I realized that even after I say to myself I will give to the poor and needy, do I actually do it? It brought me to tears because I felt like someone hit me over the head with a baseball bat to tell me that I am just as selfish as all those people. I walk past those people in the cities and avoid eye contact trying to get past. That voice screams in my head they just want drugs or some other unnecessary item. Then I say "why not just get a job" of course never out loud but those thoughts circulate all through my brain. Another thing that I realized is that when the man is beaten, that is me, beating each person I walk past. Not physically but ignoring them when I have a chance to change their lives for even a day might as well be a solid kick in the gut. Now that I see how selfish I truly am I am praying that
God can help me to change. I don't want to be like every other person who thinks that all they need is money for drugs. I guess it really isn't for me to decide what they use that money on only know that I did what I felt I should. God told me to give them food or money to buy food or even a jacket and just knowing that regardless of what they use that for is up to them.

Breakfast

Hi, hello. You see it in the commercials and everyone tries to convince you that eating breakfast will help you have more energy but yet you still somehow don't believe them. Well you know what? Its the truth. I have a spare first class this semester and so I take and drop my mom off at work, then come home and eat breakfast. This week I honestly had more energy throughout the day than I have ever felt like. Of course that doesn't mean that you don't need a good nights rest but it just means that you have an added bonus of energy for the day ahead. Trust me, eating a healthy breakfast is incredibly beneficial to daily life.

God and his children

Hi, hello. Its amazing how God is just right there with his children and is protecting them even when you think that things couldn't get any worse. Its amazing. He even has all those little details planned out and when you think that well, maybe if I had of waited a few more minutes it would never have happened. Well thinking about past experiences I realize that had it been any different timings it would have been worse. He has everything planned out in his hand and no matter what he looks after his children.

Hi, hello. I used to freak out when I would get a bad mark on a test or assignment and think that the world just ended. I realize now that there is far more important things that happen in life and worse things can happen. I guess its just not that big of a deal now.

Armed by Devon Gundry

Hi, hello. I just watched this incredible youtube video that brought me to tears. It was about these people who all are going through some form of grief and it was just incredible and heart-wrenching. It did literally bring me to tears. I read and interview with Eva Larue who is in the video and she said that its amazing how each one of us is going through something like that and I thought of how true that is. I encourage you to watch the video and I guarantee that you will be reaching for that box of Kleenex afterwards (unless you're heart is stone cold or something).

Sunrises

Hi, hello. A sunset is always filled with inspiration and beauty. Its a marvelous site but however they can be somewhat of a disappointment. It means the end of an incredible day. The end of an adventure. A sunrise, now that is just as beautiful but along with it comes hope. The hope that this day will be better than yesterday. The hope that something miraculous will come in the day. The promise that there is another chance. The promise that its a new day. The anticipation of a new adventure. The indication that another journey has just begun. There is something about a sunrise that just can't be described. A sunrise is filled with new hope, inspiration, anticipation and adventure.

`Life is like a puzzle; we are the pieces, trying to find the spot where we fit.` Kara Klassen

Lying

Hi, hello. This is a question that always constantly plagues my mind. We read in the bible that lying is wrong and it is taught to us from the time we can speak. Its wrong and the truth always will set a person free. Here is one thing that sometimes troubles me. What if lying will save someones life? I am not talking about the death penalty or anything because in that case if a person tells the truth they are more likely to not get the death penalty. I mean what if there is a person looking for someone because they want to kill them and they show up at your door looking for the person. What should you do in that situation? They have a gun and are going to kill them if they find them. Is it wrong to lie then to protect that person?

Restlessness

Hi, hello. Every person on this planet was created for a specific purpose. Each person has a job that they were placed here to accomplish. God designs us for it and equips us with gifts for our calling. We have everything we need to complete the mission. When we begin feeling restless about the point we are in life its from God. That is a sign that something needs to change. We need to be somewhere else. If we chose not to accomplish our task God will just send someone else and you miss your chance.

Wow...

Hi, hello. So I don't think that those are all from me but anyway I noticed today that I have close to 30 more views than the last time I checked. That excites me. Maybe my blog is actually interesting so I think that maybe after exam season is all finished I may start blogging on a regular basis rather than binge blogging. That was a lot of blogging used in one sentence. Well I must go to bed cause I am incredibly sleepy so goodnight.

Its been modified

Hi, hello. Welcome to the new look of my blog. I am pleased with its look finally. I don't think that is looks so bland anymore, more interesting. I hope that you all enjoy the new design as well.

Pop Music

Hi, hello. There is one thing that is constantly present in this day and age, pop music. Its played on every other radio station and about three quarters of the songs sound the exact same. They all talk about drugs, alcohol and getting layed. As blunt as that is its the truth. The majority of them don't talk about giving respect to the person of the opposite gender and each person who sings these songs tend to use auto tuners. It shows you what kind of talent they really have. Thats why I personally prefer music from the acoustic selection or folk. Those musicians actually have talent. The words they sing are deep and meaningful. Its creative and it actually is them singing the song with their own voice not through an auto tuner. I really love Owl City though. I believe that he uses an auto tuner for the sound but his lyrics are original and creative. He has his own sound that is different from the rest. He is We has got to be one of my absolute most favorite bands though. Their songs are mostly acoustic and they make me happy. Their songs are so cute.

Searching

Hi, hello. Lately I have really felt as though I am searching for something. Not as if I lost something and am trying to find it. Something deep. I blog in sperts because some days I get filled with so many thoughts and ponderings that it eventually builds so that I need to get it out or I can't concentrate. Maybe its a gift I don't really know but whenever I get inspirational messages I have to write them, somewhere at least. So here is something that bothered me all to leading up to Christmas. I never actually felt as though Christmas was in the air. It was just like any other time of year. I never had an ambition to put up decorations or to even buy gifts for anyone. I myself didn't even want anything for Christmas. Then when people say that they are waiting for a Christmas miracle. What are they talking about? Why do miracles only have to happen once a year? Can't God perform a miracle at any other time? If Christmas is about the birth of Jesus then why do we not celebrate it that way? This year I just went through the motions. I didn't know what I was looking for. Nothing seemed exactly right. I don't believe that Jesus was even born in December. I think it was either early fall or early spring. It just doesn't make sense. All people are doing is getting money from something that was supposed to be a memory of something amazing. The greatest moment in history. Now what is it? They advertise it on TV. Is that what its about? I feel like Cindy Lou Who. Looking for the deeper meaning. I know it is a time to celebrate God's gift to us but by scheming a way to grab money? I don't know what I am looking for.

Have you ever felt as though time has stopped?

Hi, hello. I may be stealing this line from a friend of mine but I think she will forgive me especially since it is the truth. I am not one of those girls that stands out on the street. I am the type that blends into a crowd and if I were to walk past a male on the street he probably wouldn't be interested enough to stop, turn around, and look at the person he just saw. Sometimes it feels as though time has stopped. Its like one of those scenes from a movie where the person stops in the middle of the sidewalk and all the people walking by are a blurr but they are the focus. Like I am frozen in place. None of them notice, they just keep moving as though I don't exist, engulfed within their own world. Sometimes you wonder if everyone is just an empty shell; going through the motions on autopilot but they don't know what they are doing. Time is frozen for that moment, and then you look into one persons eyes and you realize it isn't empty but vibrant. There is someone inside there waiting to come out, waiting to fulfill their purpose.

Throughout life...

Hi, hello. Throughout life we constantly are coming in contact with people and those who never encounter a single person throughout the day are either incredibly blind or else isolate themselves from the rest of the world. The truth is we need each other. We need someone to tell us to get our butts off the couch and live. Someone to laugh with. Someone to live. A companion. A soul mate. A friend. Even those annoying people out there on the planet were created by God and we need them too. I like to think that if we weren't all here the Earth wouldn't stay a float.

Its so cruel when people lead others on and then just drop them!

Hi, hello. So I have this friend who has a boyfriend that is head over heels for her and my guess is that as soon as she graduates he will propose. He is one of the sweetest guys that I have ever met and I find really disappointing to think that she maybe doesn't return those feelings. He is going to get his heart crushed yet and it is too bad. It bothers me when people lead others on especially if they already are seeing someone. Just stop doing it.

Hope

Hi, hello. Life is filled with mystery, twists and turns. Life is a roller coaster it has its ups and downs. If there was no roller coaster I think that wouldn't be a good thing. When a heart beat flat lines it means the person has died so I think that if someone's life is flat lining then it means that they don't feel the sorrows of life or the joys either and I believe that we need to experience both of those to truly live. I have sort of gotten side tracked. The point I am trying to make is that even in the darkest hour of our lives and the saddest or scariest we always have hope. Did you know that there is a small section of the brain that is designed specifically for hope? God placed it there. Then we can hope that tomorrow will be better than today, hope that our loved ones who perished knew that it was their time to go and have no regrets, the hope that one day we can see our dear loved ones again in a better place. Whenever life gets you down, reach up and grasp the hand of the almighty. He is always there to pull you back up to the surface no matter what.

Why would God bother to place us here? Didn't he see it coming?

Hi, hello. I have been wondering lately if God knew what he was doing when he chose to place us humans on a floating speck in a black void and give us authority over it. God knows everything that we are going to do in our lives, every sin we commit, everything that he will be pleased with. He knows those who will follow him and all of those who won't. If he knew that Eve would eat the fruit then why would he even have bothered to create humans? Why didn't he just foreshadow what we would do and say "Oh, wait, maybe I shouldn't give them authority over their own place." Things just don't make sense to me. I fully believe God is our ultimate creator and that he loves us dearly but I don't understand why we were created this way. Wouldn't it have saved him the heartache if we weren't here? Life is so puzzling. I am exactly like my grandfather. I question everything. I feel as though my soul is searching for something. Something deeper.

Have you ever wondered if there is a point to this?

Hi, hello. Lately I have been wondering, whats the point of life? Not the meaning but the point. Every day I wake up in the morning get ready for school, go to school, come home from school, do school work, try and have a life. Whats the point of all of that? There must be something more than this sheltered north american life. While I sit in school all day there are people out in the world who are dying and some maybe never had a chance to experience the truth. Why am I sitting in a warm class sheltered from war and famine while they are out there with no one but each other and dying without hearing about the reason for living. I feel as though I am searching for something. Something more than a sheltered american lifestyle. Is there any point to us living here? I don't doubt God in fact I have a fairly solid faith. I think that because I am so confident in my faith that is why all of these questions have been coming into my head. All those thoughts about a greater purpose. I think that God has opened my eyes to see that there is more to life then the way I am living it. Better things out there than safety.

Have you ever wondered what is going to happen to people in your class after high school?

Hi, hello. So lately I have been wondering about what my ten year reunion is going to look like. I know that I haven't graduated yet but its only a few months away. I mean you see the "popular" crowd parading down the halls pretending they own the place. Everyone wants to be with them and go to parties just to be classified as them. Personally I don't want that. Those are the types of girls that lost their virginity back in grade 9 and are easy for males to get their slimy hands on. They aren't hard to deal with and the male can reach out and grab their heart and stomp on it. After he leaves they just go on to the next guy that will pretend to love them. I have heard several of them going on about being in a high career and whatever but meanwhile the partying every weekend makes its dent in the grades. The chances of achieving highly at university are slipping away and they party all the time. Eventually they end up coming back to the small town and work a dead end job. Maybe that is very stereotypical of me to say but I am sure that we all have those in our high school. To all those people who want to be one of them, dream bigger than that. High school is four years and the rest of your life is ahead of you. In ten years no one is going to care what you were in high school and in your career or in university they really don't care. Be your self. I can't wait to see where everyone ended up in ten years.

Sometimes don't you just want to crawl into a dark hole?

Hi, hello. Sometimes I just want to crawl into a deep dark hole; or maybe actually a light hole that is isolated from the rest of the world and wait until God makes everything right again. I seriously am hating my life right now. Don't worry I am not suicidal or anything but between school, exams, and extra homework on top of that I am so stressed I just want to cry all the time. Between that and some family problems going on its horrendous. Needless to say I am almost crying as I publish this post and the only reason why I haven't let the tears fall is because everyone will wonder after why my eyes are red and ask if there is anything they can do to help. Sometimes those people who only are your friends when there is a situation going on are very annoying. Let's face it, we all know the truth.

Prime Minister

Hi, hello. I recently sent a letter I had written into the prime minister of Canada discussing abortion. I told him my thoughts on the issue. Several of the examples I used were very good I thought and I had a friend read it who thought is sounded very professional and she hadn't thought of a lot of what I said. I would post it on here but unfortunately I don't know how to attach it. I received a letter in response back. It wasn't directly from him but he had requested this particular assistant to send me a letter in response. They thanked me for expressing my concerns and stated that the prime minister is always interested in the opinion of young Canadians. He also stated that my comments have been carefully noted. I was incredibly excited to get this letter. It is starting to make me think. Maybe I don't have to wait for graduation to reach my destiny. Maybe I have been watching it out the window all along but just kept walking by.