Selfishness

Hi, hello. I never really have noticed how selfish I actually am until I watched that video by Devon Gundry. What cried out to me the most was that homeless man watching all of those people walk aimlessly past him and then the guy on the phone that placed money in his cup just because. Watching the way he suffered was difficult but it wasn't just that. I realized that even after I say to myself I will give to the poor and needy, do I actually do it? It brought me to tears because I felt like someone hit me over the head with a baseball bat to tell me that I am just as selfish as all those people. I walk past those people in the cities and avoid eye contact trying to get past. That voice screams in my head they just want drugs or some other unnecessary item. Then I say "why not just get a job" of course never out loud but those thoughts circulate all through my brain. Another thing that I realized is that when the man is beaten, that is me, beating each person I walk past. Not physically but ignoring them when I have a chance to change their lives for even a day might as well be a solid kick in the gut. Now that I see how selfish I truly am I am praying that
God can help me to change. I don't want to be like every other person who thinks that all they need is money for drugs. I guess it really isn't for me to decide what they use that money on only know that I did what I felt I should. God told me to give them food or money to buy food or even a jacket and just knowing that regardless of what they use that for is up to them.