Searching

Hi, hello. Lately I have really felt as though I am searching for something. Not as if I lost something and am trying to find it. Something deep. I blog in sperts because some days I get filled with so many thoughts and ponderings that it eventually builds so that I need to get it out or I can't concentrate. Maybe its a gift I don't really know but whenever I get inspirational messages I have to write them, somewhere at least. So here is something that bothered me all to leading up to Christmas. I never actually felt as though Christmas was in the air. It was just like any other time of year. I never had an ambition to put up decorations or to even buy gifts for anyone. I myself didn't even want anything for Christmas. Then when people say that they are waiting for a Christmas miracle. What are they talking about? Why do miracles only have to happen once a year? Can't God perform a miracle at any other time? If Christmas is about the birth of Jesus then why do we not celebrate it that way? This year I just went through the motions. I didn't know what I was looking for. Nothing seemed exactly right. I don't believe that Jesus was even born in December. I think it was either early fall or early spring. It just doesn't make sense. All people are doing is getting money from something that was supposed to be a memory of something amazing. The greatest moment in history. Now what is it? They advertise it on TV. Is that what its about? I feel like Cindy Lou Who. Looking for the deeper meaning. I know it is a time to celebrate God's gift to us but by scheming a way to grab money? I don't know what I am looking for.